Awkwardly Murmuring

In the article, “Shyness and Sociotropy: Additive and Interactive Relations in Predicting Interpersonal Concerns,” I learned that shyness is not the whole reason that shy people have trouble communicating with others; but rather that sociotropy is the added fuel that it takes to start the fire – so to speak.  Sociotropy is the need to please others, not just passively but excessively. 

“Furthermore, this individual manifests thought content that reflects concerns about social desirability, such as ‘I’m unattractive,’ ‘I’m unlikable,’ and ‘I’m boring.”  The similarity between this cognitive style and the self-depreciating cognitive style of shy persons is striking and suggests that shyness and sociotropy could combine in an additive and/or an interactive manner to predict increased interpersonal concerns.”[1]

This passage describes the additive power that obsessing over the needs to please others or to have them appreciate you, and the lack of communication that comes with shyness and how they combine to create large problems in communication with the individual. 

I can somewhat relate to this.  My sister is extremely shy, as in she won’t really go anywhere without anyone else.  She won’t talk to anyone who she doesn’t know which is usually how shy people act.  Although I have never seen signs of her self-deprecating herself this could be at least some insight as to help her achieve control over her shyness. 

If it is these two ideas that cause problems with communication, then it is to the benefit of the individual to help guide them so that they don’t become socially awkward.  One of my favorite lines that I hear, especially around the science department, is that ‘Einstein didn’t graduate high school and was kind of awkward, and look what he accomplished.’  This is not the case, sadly, because in today’s society we require communication more than ever.

Sociotropy seems to be a beast with no one to tame it.  People expect more and more out of others each day and if there are people who cannot effectively communicate with others then they could be out of jobs, future opportunities, and so forth.  Talk more with others and be yourself are the only pieces of advice that I could tell introverts to help them become more people friendly and successful.

Works Cited:
[1] Monroe Bruch, Richard Heimberg, Anne Hunt, Bonnie McIntosh, and Kathy Rivet, "Shyness and Sociotropy: Additive and Interactive Relations in Predicting Interpersonal Concerns," Journal of Personality, 67, no. 2 (1999): 373-406.